The Truth

I'm angry.

I'm angry because I feel blamed for something that shouldn't be my fault.
I'm mad because I shouldn't have to take this kind of burden without any way of defending myself.
I'm hurt because it doesn't seem like she once even thought about what I've been going through.
I'm miserable because I miss her.

We were never terribly good at expressing our feelings to each other, but we were honest, and we were loyal to each other. This never changed for me, I don't know why things fell apart the way they did. I used to just assume that that's what friendships did overtime: Friends would change, grow up, find that they're different after all and go their separate ways. I thought that before I realized what a great friendship I had, and how I never wanted it to change ever. It was inevitable that every other friendship might hit the void eventually, but this one seemed more than that. You know what the saddest part about this whole thing is? I still believe that. Maybe that's why it still hurts this much. Well. That and being the scapegoat. Like that's fair.

When did we change? Was there something I missed? I have so many questions that will probably never be answered. And it's like she doesn't even care, so I'm embarrassed that I'm the one who's dwelling. I'm not really sorry though. I've been angry, hurt, confused, and more than anything frustrated, but I'll always care about her, no matter what. Yep. That's where the bitterness is coming from. So at least now you know, even if she never will.