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Friday, August 5, 2011

The Rabbit

There's an interesting something that I learned while I was out of the world for this last year and a half. It's a really great trade, I really wish that I'd learned it earlier in life. I can promise you that if I had, this whole blog would have been constructed differently. I'll show you what I mean by giving you an example.

For my last interview with President Pizzirani, we sat talking about the mission, but mostly about the future, because for the both of us, it had come. As we sat and wrapped up the excellent, quality conversation, I stopped him and asked, from what he knew of me (which is quite a bit), what he thought it was that I needed to change, in order to be a little more prepared for this future of mine.

Writer's Note: This is already a big change, me asking what I can do to change. That never would have happened a year and a half ago.

President Pizzirani smiled at me in that humorous, loving way and said to me, "Sister, the one thing that you needed to change on the mission, you already have, which was to love change. Through the transfers and companions, you learned how to adjust and take on new challenges with a new perspective until you weren't afraid of it. This is the most important thing you could ever learn, because the only thing you'll see constantly in life is change. And so, if there was one piece of advice I could give you, I would tell you to always love change."

He really took me by surprise with that answer. It's hard to do an evaluation of oneself when you both live in the same room your whole life. Outside perspective is like opening a window, and stale opinion is overtaken by a fresh breeze of thought. President was right, though I'd never bothered to take note before that moment. If it were only for this reason, I would be thankful for the mission, but there are so many more reasons. So many more.

I told you this blog would have been different if I'd learn to love change early on in life. Many of these posts were tinted by a resistance to change, some more-so than others. I do love change. It's never easy, and more than not demands a greater sacrifice than one wants to give....but the rewards heavily outweigh any benefits to staying the same old same old. It's this factor that makes me love life so dearly at the moment. And of course, I wouldn't feel this way if I didn't have perfect trust in the Lord. I imagine now that I've stated it, he'll try it to see if it holds. Better sooner than later.

"All the rabbit in us is to disappear - the worried, conscientious, ethical rabbit as well as the cowardly and sensual rabbit. We shall bleed and squeal as the handfuls of fur come out; and then surprisingly, we shall find underneath it all a thing we have never yet imagined: a real Man, an ageless god, a son of God, strong, radiant, wise, beautiful, and drenched in joy.
- C.S. Lewis