My Music


Sunday, November 25, 2007

Life, Death, and an Opportunity

I feel not so well today, but only physically. For some reason, my mood is much better when I'm sick. I have no complaints, my mood can be whatever it wants to, I’m flexible. I was going to post a blog sooner than now, but opportunity didn’t provide, so I have a lot to make up for and very little patience to do it.

Margot has moved out of our apartment. It’s a little sad, knowing how good friends we used to be, and how easily things could have been fixed, had compliancy been more apart of our human nature. Still, I think things will be much better now that she’s gone. River, my beautiful black rabbit, died this week. I miss her, and regret more than anything that I didn’t go out and visit her on Tuesday like I was planning. Still, death and life sometimes go hand in hand. Ariel is pregnant, and I’m going to be an Aunt, finally! I’m so excited, and a little jealous too. Oh, I’m not even implying that I’m anywhere near ready to have a baby, but she looks so happy all the time. Now I know what they mean when they talk about the glow that pregnant mothers have, it’s an ageless beauty. Ariel is already beautiful, so it only adds to an already spectacular display of kindness and radiance.

I met with TRU Talent Agency upon their request, and they expressed interest in working with me. It was flattering, and I won’t deny that I’m more than just a little tempted to take up the offer, but it would mean making a lot of changes that I don’t know I’m brave enough to make. Shallow as it sounds, it was a dream come true to hear that someone thought I was pretty enough for magazines and movies. But that’s where it ends, because I know it’s a shallow thought, and it would be a hollow life, were it to come true. I thought about it long and hard, about what I wanted, and what I was doing with my life. Well, I’m not doing anything, and now would be the perfect opportunity to make this leap, but what happens after that? See, I’ve got this brain, and I want to use it for something. Pretty sure it takes no brain to be a model, just skill and technique. I feel like it would be defeating the purpose of my being here. Ah, the triviality of trivial things.

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