Maybe it shouldn't matter so much to me. I mean, I've never had a short supply of friendships, and every one of them mean a world of happiness to me. You already know I would give anything for the people I love. I like to think they would do the same for me. That's what makes life so great. The people I love, love me back. Does it seem like a silly thing to be grateful for? Unconditional love from one person to another should never be taken for granted.
And that's why I'm so unhappy about this. I did, for one fleeting moment, take a friendship for granted, I think you could even say I took advantage of it. How fragile the balance of our lives are, one minute a fluent rhythm of cogs and wheels that make it run like clock work, the next, a balancing act that teeters on the edge of a very deep abyss. Sometimes there's no coming back from that.
I've written about this before. About a friendship that was jeopardized because of my own actions. Mine is an exemplary life that should be looked to when you wonder what you should not do. I am that example, sitting on my pedestal of mistakes and bad decisions with the "Dunce" cap on my head. If you want to do the right thing, take a leaf out of someone else's book.
I don't want to be quarantined. I feel huge remorse for hurting my friend, this brilliantly clever individual who would play my games of humor and laugh even when I was just being dumb. Who couldn't appreciate this? None of you need to hear this, but I needed to let the cosmos know that I do have a conscience, and I am very sorry.
For the first time in my life, sunsets make me sad.
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