So I have this problem. I like people.
As in, I thrive on other people's happiness. Sounds morbid, right? It's not. I've just found that it's hard for me to be happy when someone I love is less than the same. I can't stand it. Worse than this, however, is when I am the direct cause of their unhappiness. When it's my fault. And right now, it's definitely my fault.
At least, I feel like it is. Maybe there's more. There probably is. But whatever the circumstance, I know that I was of no help to it. And I am wrought with guilt. Why was I so careless? Seeing my friend so miserable created a deep set misery inside myself, and I can't seem to pull out of it. I don't want to be in this place, but it's so hard not to be.
I'm also frustrated because we're not really friends anymore. I try daily to mend things, and he ends up insulting me in some enormous way that makes me vow to really try and not be friends with him anymore. But then a half hour passes, my feelings are not as hurt as they were, and I find myself trying to justify the words that were said to me.
I guess I'm looking for some advice. I'm willing to be persistent, but I don't know if I should. One the one hand, it hurts a lot. On the other, a friendship is something worth a little hardship, isn't it? You tell me.
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1 comment:
Well you are right, friendship definitely CAN be worth the hardship, but only if the other person is as willing to work hard at it as you are. I don't know who you're talking about, but it sounds like he's an idiot if he don't want to put forth the effort to be friends with you. Sure you want to keep the relationship going, but when it's causing you more hurt it isn't worth it Abs! Friendship is about give and take, and when one person can only take, it isn't fair to either party.
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